It’s a fantasy, love

It’s been over three years since I dropped an L-bomb. I don’t know if that’s a long time or not – and how does one measure that anyway? – but that’s how long it’s been. And in all my years, I’ve only said that word to three men. The operative word being “said.” I’ve loved…

Enter The Void

In eighteen years, I’ve moved fourteen times. Some of the moves have been short, cross-town ventures, but many have been big moves from one part of the country to the other. There is always a sense of not-knowing that lingers in the air at the close of every old apartment door, every old cubical desk…

a happy life

Sometimes he sneaks up on me. His memory greets me like a gentle shoulder tap or a whisper in my ear. Maybe it’s the sound of his laugh or the way he called me “darlin’.” I feel him wash over me. It’s warm…and melancholy. We were never exactly a couple, but we were certainly tied…

Give me freedom

Freedom is my currency. I’ve been saying this for years. Even as a kid, my favorite game to play was an imaginary one called “Runaway,” where I’d pack my suitcase and head off to some magical made up destination. In some ways, I feel like I’ve been on the run my whole life, despite having…

No shadow for this ground hog

If you are what you do, then I am a Shadow Wrestler. That’s been my occupation since as long as I can remember and I am ready to tap out of the match. There’s bound to be a better use of my time. At any give moment, I’m likely to be thinking about what I’m…

To gain, you must let go

Release.  Since my last birthday, that’s been my mini-mantra. Somewhere along the way, life started to feel really heavy… like the joy had been sucked out with a straw. It’s true, I think of myself as a work to live person but words don’t mean jack if you’re not actually living that way.  So, when my friend, Wendy,…

The Not-So-Secret Garden

Among the treasures I’m most thankful for, the statue garden a block from my house is high on the list. It’s hauntingly beautiful, strikingly out of place, and it comes with its own dramatic back story. It’s like stepping into another world; a wonderful place for a dreamy romantic like me. Most of my twenties…