It’s been over three years since I dropped an L-bomb. I don’t know if that’s a long time or not – and how does one measure that anyway? – but that’s how long it’s been. And in all my years, I’ve only said that word to three men. The operative word being “said.” I’ve loved…
Enter The Void
In eighteen years, I’ve moved fourteen times. Some of the moves have been short, cross-town ventures, but many have been big moves from one part of the country to the other. There is always a sense of not-knowing that lingers in the air at the close of every old apartment door, every old cubical desk…
This is my America
A couple of weeks ago, I had the inconvenient experience of being locked out of my apartment. I was on my way to meet my zany friend from Argentina for a showing of Woody Allen’s Café Society. It’d been a while since I’d seen my friend, so we caught up over coffee and he told…
a happy life
Sometimes he sneaks up on me. His memory greets me like a gentle shoulder tap or a whisper in my ear. Maybe it’s the sound of his laugh or the way he called me “darlin’.” I feel him wash over me. It’s warm…and melancholy. We were never exactly a couple, but we were certainly tied…
An unexpected friendship
A couple of years ago, when I lived in lovely Nolita, I would wake up early every morning and walk a few blocks to the gym. At the end of my block, there was a cute little Euro-style bistro and they had a tiny bench tucked under their window facing the side street. One day,…
Unzip yourself
“Any place you never leave is a prison.” I don’t recall where I read the quote or who wrote it – but it has staying power. It’s been haunting me since I read it – making me think about all the ways in which I allow myself to be imprisoned. Back in my college days,…
Money don’t make a man
“You shoulda been a shrink.” You know you’re hitting it off with the random guy at the bar when he snarls those words at you in between his sips of bourbon. I was back in Texas recently for my family reunion and during the layover, I saddled up to the bar and the gent’ next…
Give me freedom
Freedom is my currency. I’ve been saying this for years. Even as a kid, my favorite game to play was an imaginary one called “Runaway,” where I’d pack my suitcase and head off to some magical made up destination. In some ways, I feel like I’ve been on the run my whole life, despite having…
So long lover
New York feels smaller…and a bit less magical now. He moved. Without saying goodbye. My first New York love just up and left. We have a connection that’s laced with synchronicity… as if we’ve been following each other through life just waiting for our paths to finally crossover. We both hail from Texas, moved to…
No shadow for this ground hog
If you are what you do, then I am a Shadow Wrestler. That’s been my occupation since as long as I can remember and I am ready to tap out of the match. There’s bound to be a better use of my time. At any give moment, I’m likely to be thinking about what I’m…
To gain, you must let go
Release. Since my last birthday, that’s been my mini-mantra. Somewhere along the way, life started to feel really heavy… like the joy had been sucked out with a straw. It’s true, I think of myself as a work to live person but words don’t mean jack if you’re not actually living that way. So, when my friend, Wendy,…
5 feet in front of you
Recently, I met a guitar playing gentleman who is quite the looker. He’s a master of his craft, exceedingly sweet and an all around good human being. He also happens to own a charming little villa in Italy. We met for a drink at the neighborhood bar on a Saturday and shared a sweet afternoon together….
Musings & Notions 